Surprising Confessions Of A Teacher-Turned Stay-At-Home Mom

Surprising Confessions Of A Teacher-Turned Stay-At-Home Mom

I had two very clear dreams for myself when I was a child – to be a teacher and to be a mom.

And while I’m right in the middle of that time in motherhood where the days are long and the years are short, I can’t help but feel both extremely blessed and extremely overwhelmed at the same time, much like I did before I left the classroom ten months ago.

You see, I never envisioned that I would stay at home with my child(ren). I always pictured myself working outside of my home in a school setting. But it wasn’t until after having my daughter and trying to juggle both teaching and parenting a baby at the same time that I knew I had to make a life-changing decision, and to be quite honest, one of the scariest decisions I’ve ever had to make.

While I would love to tell you that it was an easy choice for me and that my days have been filled with ultimate bliss since leaving the chaos of the classroom, that’d be doing a disservice to the stay-at-home moms who know just how hard it can be at home, too.

If you had told me that ten months ago, I would have chuckled. But the truth is, teachers and stay-at-home moms have more in common than one would think. I’m going to share my perspective on this topic as I have taught for seven years, and I’ve been a (technically) work-from-home mom for ten months.

Here are a few things that I’ve learned since making the switch that I feel teachers and stay-at-home moms can both experience in their days of work.

You never feel like what you do is enough

When I was teaching, I would spend hours curating lessons, organizing my classroom, and researching the perfect activity that would match my students’ interests. I would pick out books for my students that I thought they would like, and I would try to find engaging videos and stories to share with them that related to what we were doing.

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But no matter what I did, (and any teacher will tell you this) I never quite felt like it was enough.

It’s very similar in parenthood.

I find myself asking the same questions like –

“Did she have enough socialization this week?”

“Were her meals nutritious enough?”

“Am I teaching her everything she needs to know?”

And as a teacher, the questions sounded something like this –

“Is Kate getting along with her friends? She seemed sad today.”

“I wonder if Eli stayed up too late. He seems exhausted.”

“Do these kids understand what I am saying, or am I just standing up here talking to myself?”

The difference is, instead of having a room full of kids to worry about on a daily basis, I now just have one. But in reality, those kids that I grew to love and care for each day over the years never really leave my mind. I will always love them and I will always wonder how they are doing. And I always wonder if what I did or am doing is enough for those children or my own child.

The exhaustion doesn’t disappear

Staying at home all day…that means access to the couch 24/7, right? Ehh. Not so much.

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In fact, I think I did more relaxing on the couch when I worked outside of my house than I do now. But that’s because it was absolutely required for me to get rest to even function the next day as a teacher. Now, I pick and choose when I get work done. Whether it’s with my online business or tasks around the house, my time is structured according to me. While there is relief in that freedom, there is also pressure. Pressure because all of those things must get done, and now I’m my own boss.

As a stay-at-home mom (who also works online), I am less tired throughout the day, but I still feel the exhaustion at night. It’s a different type of exhaustion, though. I’m not mentally drained. I’m not emotionally drained. But I’m still drained. It’s just on a much different scale.

It could be because the days and tasks can get repetitive, and sometimes it feels like the movie Groundhog Day when you’ve cleaned up the same mess fifty-two times. But it’s very similar to picking up seven thousand pencils off the floor each day as I did in the classroom. Teachers, you hear me on this one. Has anyone found a pencil challenge that actually works? Let me know.

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The reason I bring this one up is that I truly thought that when I left the classroom I would gain my energy back, but I think it’s just safe to say that taking care of children, in general, requires a lot of energy and patience, whether they are your own or someone else’s. One thing I have gained back since leaving is my mental clarity. I’ll share more on that another day.

Taking them out in public can be…interesting

My least favorite day of the school year? Homecoming. Now, don’t come at me. I’m not a party pooper! But what I have experienced over the years is the anxiety that comes with corralling a bunch of children in public on a very exciting day is grueling. But hey, it’s part of the job, right?!

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And now I’ve realized that with parenting, that’s part of my job every single day. Corralling my own child in public. What a happy surprise! I’ve done this before…I think.

I love taking my daughter to new places. I love seeing her face light up when she sees something for the first time or when she talks to a new person and forms a connection. But I’d be lying if I said that taking a toddler out in public is an easy task. It can cause some anxiety, much like those Homecoming days did for me when I was responsible for a large group of kids on Main Street. Or pep rallies…don’t get me started on those.

I’ve learned to embrace the chaos and know that there is no such thing as a perfect outing. But I’ve also learned to lean on the support of other encouraging women, like I did my coworkers, who assure me what I’m experiencing is just a small part of raising children and that we all go through it as new moms. Phew! Glad I’m not the only one.

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The moments that keep you going…keep you going

In teaching, it was the “aha!” moments. The smirks when you told a funny joke. The proud face of a kid who had just overcome an obstacle. The days they would come in with a new haircut or a new shirt and they carried themselves differently. The growth that they would make over the nine months you spent with them.

It was the inside jokes, the beautifully written stories (or sometimes not so beautifully written), the all-too-competitive Kahoot games, and the times when they’d bring up a book they were reading and show you a vocabulary word that you’d taught them. It was all of those things.

Those moments kept me going.

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In parenthood, it’s the morning snuggles. The little mischievous smile of a toddler who knows what they are doing is against the “rules.” It’s the sweet kisses on the cheek and the soft hand to hold. It’s capturing the memories every day, and praying that time slows down.

It’s knowing that each day, I get the opportunity to share the world with her. Teach her. Love her. Embrace who she is.

Those moments keep me going.

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In Conclusion

Both teaching and parenting are hard, and I think it’s important to show appreciation for both.

Teachers, you are absolute rockstars in this world – in a world that doesn’t always respect you in the way that you deserve to be respected. You carry the weight of so much more than what meets the eye, and what you do is important and so extremely underrated.

I will always be an advocate for teachers because I know how hard it is to do what they do each day. If you are reading this and you haven’t thanked your child’s teacher this year, consider doing so. Your words carry more weight than you can imagine.

Raising kids is a challenge. It’s a beautiful, mysterious, heart-wrenching challenge, and both teachers and parents know this all too well.

But after spending time teaching and being a stay-at-home mom I have to say this…

Teachers, you have one of the absolute hardest jobs in the world. I pray that one day the world sees this in the way that I do. Thank you for doing what you do, but also know that it’s okay to make decisions that are best for you, and don’t let society make you feel guilty about doing so.

The love that you show for others will be carried with you wherever you go, and I pray that wherever that is, you feel respected, seen, and valued in what you do each day as it is so important.