30 Lifechanging Things I’ve Learned In 30 Years

30 Things I’ve Learned in 30 Years

Thirty always seemed so old to me. Like once you hit thirty, you were officially old. Right?

WRONG! Silly me! What was I thinking??

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It’s been within this year of turning thirty that I have grown more as a person in ten months than I have in ten years. Part of that is because for once in my life I’ve had time, space, and energy to heal, and part of it is just because age does a funny thing to you…it makes you wise. Now, I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself “wise,” but I would consider myself “wiser” than I was.

Here are the top 30 things I have learned in life since turning 30 (in no particular order).

1. Everything truly does happen for a reason

So cliche I know. But what’s meant for you will find you, and what’s not will pass you. This might be the hardest one. When you are going through something so tragic, or you see a friend at their lowest, it often feels like there isn’t a reason for it. But it’s not our job to understand why, it’s our job to do our best to find the value in what it is that we are being put through. Maybe someday your story can help someone that was in the same situation as you.

2. It’s okay for your dreams to change

Just because you’ve always wanted to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it and certainly do it forever. It’s okay for our dreams to change. This is a sign that you are growing. We don’t have to hold on to something just because we told people it’s what we wanted, or because we wrote it down as a goal when were children. You can wake up each day and decide you want something different for yourself, and that’s perfectly okay.

3. Happiness really does come from within

This was a hard one for me. I always thought that happiness came when you met a goal. I caught myself saying things like “I’ll be happy when ___________”. You get the point. But I think true happiness comes when we are absolutely content with who we are. When you are content with who you are, you can be put in almost any situation and feel at peace.

4. Trust your intuition

This might be my witchy vibes coming out, (ask my grandma about that one), but that little voice that’s inside your head sometimes knows what’s really going on. Listen to it. There have been so many times (it’s actually eerie to think about) when I have thought of something happening, and then it does. The world is made up of energy. Thoughts are energy. Our intuition is here to guide us, not scare us.

5. You can be a good friend without having to make plans

The whole trend going on saying “if they wanted to know they would have asked,” is a little farfetched in my opinion. I have a lot of friends that are very close to my heart. The type of friends that KNOW if they needed my help I would drop what I was doing the second they asked. But I also am not the best at keeping up with communication, and that doesn’t mean I don’t care. You know your friends. You know what they need. You don’t have to always have plans to be a good friend.

6. You can distance yourself from people if needed

This was also a really hard one for me to understand. If you start paying attention to your energy levels when you are around people, you will realize who lights you up and who drains you. It’s okay to love people from a distance. Pay attention to your energy, give them time when needed, and give yourself time when you need it.

7. Take the pictures

Those who know me personally might roll their eyes at this statement or say it’s a bit controversial. But seriously, take the pictures. Take all of them. I think the main reason I say this is because I have experienced times in my life when I thought I was in the moment, and a few months later, I could barely remember that moment. If it wasn’t for the pictures, I wouldn’t. A picture can last forever, but memories sometimes don’t.

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8. Do what’s best for your family

You’re going to make decisions that rub people the wrong way, but that’s okay. You don’t have to explain why you were late to the family dinner, or why you aren’t having your kid stay up late for that event, or why you took them on that trip even though they won’t remember. Do what’s best for you and your family. Unapologetically.

9. Start skincare early – like yesterday

I’m still working on this, and I’m probably too late to the game. But I’ve learned the hard way. I’ve also learned how big of a role hormones play in skincare. It’s not just about the topical oils and creams and cleansers. It’s so much deeper than that. Check back with me when I turn 35 and we’ll see what I think then. Maybe by then, I’ll be graduated from my pink drying lotion!

10. Everything is a facade – ditch the news

In 2019 I tapped into information about the world that I had never even considered. It drastically opened my eyes to how the mainstream media pushes agendas repeatedly on American citizens. These are deeply rooted in Hollywood, fashion trends, the food we eat, etc. Without going into too much detail on that and letting you do the research yourself, I’ll just say this…ditch the news. It’s agenda-driven.

11. Just like your dreams, your opinions can change

I learned this once I became a mother. I do so many things as a mother that I told myself I would never do! But now I understand. It’s easy to pass judgment before you are in the situation yourself. The important thing is you recognize that your opinion on an issue has changed due to your perspective changing. And that is OKAY!

12. Clap for others – always

The success of others has nothing to do with your own success. Celebrating others is one of the biggest indicators that you are comfortable in your own skin. As I said, the world is made up of energy, and whatever energy you put out comes right back to you.

13. Be as extra, or as basic, as you want

Don’t like dressing up to go out? Don’t. Don’t want to make a fancy cake for your kid’s birthday? Don’t. Want to buy cute holiday hand towels and matching soap dispensers and candles that match the season? Do it! Bottom line – you are allowed to be as EXTRA or as BASIC as you want. There isn’t a right or wrong. You do you – authentically and unapologetically.

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14. What kids see and listen to matters – a lot

Part of this is the teacher in me, and part of it is the inner child in me, but I think this one is extremely important and one that I want to really carry out as a mother, aunt, etc. Kids pick up on everything. The conversation you are having with your husband in the kitchen, the discussion in the car on the way to an event, the way you talked about that person you had an argument with…kids pick up on it. It sticks with them. Just remember that it matters, even when they become adults. There are certain things that kids don’t need to know or need to hear. Period.

15. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed

We are only guaranteed the day we are living. Make your decisions with that mindset. “I’ll wait until tomorrow,” is a phrase I’ve had to work hard (and am still working hard) to drop. Again, check back with me when I’m 35, although it’s not guaranteed!

16. You are your child’s first teacher

Another teacher one – sorry! But it’s true. Parents, you can’t expect your child’s teacher to teach them everything, especially life skills. Shoe tying, treating others with kindness, table manners…that stuff starts at home. Now as I am typing this I am sure there is food on our kitchen floor from my daughter feeding the dog, but hey, at least I have the mindset that we are starting at home! We’ll have it figured out by the time she goes to school…I hope!

17. Wear what makes you feel good

I’ve never been a fashionista. I love cute outfits, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never really loved what’s “trending.” Except for that year, maybe 2012, when we wore leggings, UGGs, and sweatshirts with everything. My God was I on fire that year. But aside from that, I just can’t keep up. I have learned though, that I feel best when I wear what actually makes me feel good! This has been a learning curve for me. What I feel good in isn’t always, trending…or ever. But that’s okay! Imma do me.

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18. Say Thank-You to people who have left a positive impact on your life

It’s important to show gratitude to people, even if it’s unexpected. You never know when that note or message may be the one thing that’s getting someone through a hard day or time in their life. Thank-you notes can be kept forever, and they are great reminders that either you have been influential in someone’s life, or someone has been influential in your life. Write the note, or send a text!

19. Create more than you consume

Ahhh! This is a big one. And it’s really hard, especially with the ease and access of social media, movies, and tv shows at our fingertips. But I truly believe that if you tap into a hobby that you LOVE and you can create more than you consume, your mind will be clearer and you will feel more in tune with your authentic self. If you don’t know what it is to create, think back to when you were a child. What did you love? Your passion is probably tied to that, believe it or not!

20. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t

When you are starting a new job, or you becoming a new mom, or you are trying something for the first time, or you are reading this blog post…just take what resonates with you and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t agree with someone, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or you think they are wrong, it just means you have differences in opinion. That’s healthy!

21. Romanticize your life

What does this mean? It means taking the time to really sit back and think about the moment you are in. Take the beauty in. Take the sounds in. Capture it. Live in that main-character energy. This is YOUR life. Change your perspective to “everything is made with love and light.” It will really help you see the world in a different way.

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22. Be comfortable with being scared

Being scared of making a life-changing decision is a good thing. It means there is an opportunity for growth and change. My hint for this is to visualize ONLY the things that can go right. Don’t think about what can go wrong. Now I’m not saying to not plan for that, I’m just saying don’t focus on that. Use your mind as a tool and visualize and bring your manifestations to fruition.

23. Be different

When I say be different, I mean be yourself. We are all different from one another. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Don’t be a bandwagoner. Don’t buy the latest gadget or follow the latest trend just because you think you have to. And that goes for old trends as well! Do you think you have to have a big expensive wedding like everyone else? You don’t. I eloped! Did people question and judge? Sure. I don’t care though. It was perfect for me. It was different and it was us. That’s just one example, but there are plenty!

24. Try to listen before you respond

So I recently learned that sometimes people respond to other people’s stories by telling them about something in their own life that connects to that story. I do this! I had no idea that it was rude. That was just my way of connecting with that person. It’s something I am working on, and instead of trying to immediately connect with them, I’m just trying to sit back and listen. I ask questions and get more information, and then if it comes up naturally in the conversation, I share my story of how I can relate. Listen, then respond.

25. Tap into the healing power of nature

When I was a kid I loved being outside. I would go into the woods all the time and just be lost in my own thoughts. I felt connected and at peace. It’s hard to do that as an adult unless you make time for it. I need to get better. But nature does have healing properties, and we are directly connected.

26. Believe that you can and ditch the self-limiting beliefs

I wish I could explain the depth of this phrase with the true meaning behind it without sounding cliche. I remember being a kid and hearing “if you believe you can, you can.” I would roll my eyes at that! But now I understand. Don’t let your self-limiting beliefs of “I don’t have enough money” or “I’m not fit enough” or whatever it may be, get in the way of you trying something new or putting yourself out there.

27. You don’t have to explain yourself

This one goes for the do what’s best for you and your family, but seriously. You owe no one an explanation. Of anything really. That’s all I’m going to say.

28. Allow yourself to feel and heal

This is such a big one for me. Emotions are meant to be felt. They are not meant to be swept under the rug. But don’t dwell on them either. Feel the emotion. Make a plan. Heal. That’s the process. In order to heal, you have to feel.

29. Say sorry when you are wrong

Being able to apologize is one of the most important aspects of being able to communicate effectively and have trusting relationships. If you are wrong, just admit it. Then next time, just be right! 😉

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30. Start living for you today

I always used to be the one that went with the flow of what everyone else wanted. I put their needs above mine. I’ve finally realized that my needs and wants are just as important as anyone else’s. I’m no different from them. And neither are you. Value yourself. Value your voice. Value your talents. Live for you because no one else will.

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